If you missed the first post in the Promises and Payoffs series, find it here.
Writers makes promises to readers using rhetorical tricks, psychological cues, and narrative techniques. In this post, I’ll go over some of the most commonly used techniques.
Chekov’s Gun
Anton Chekov famously said, and I’m paraphrasing, that “if you say in the first chapter that there is a rifle hanging on a wall, in the second or third chapter it absolutely must go off. If it’s not going to be fired, it shouldn’t be hanging there.”
But Chekov wasn’t just talking about guns. He was warning writers against using extraneous details.
A gun is a significant psychological image. It’s full of meaning; it has the potential for danger and death. To give it attention is a signal to readers that they should pay attention. If nothing comes of it, readers can feel duped.
This same fact can apply to any significant word or description used in a scene. We’re often told to add “color” to our scenes to make the setting come to life. But in the hands of an inexperienced writer, this creates all sorts of opportunities to make false promises. Calling out any detail in a significant way—lots of detail given, colorful language, startling qualities, powerful symbols, etc—creates a promise in the reader’s mind.
An example:
“The room was a typical library with lots of leather furniture and subdued accents. However, something red on the mantle invited further inspection. Mallory moved closer and realized it was a toy firetruck.”
Do you expect to hear more about this truck? If you don’t will you be disappointed? There’s certainly nothing dangerous about a toy, and yet, it’s evocative of all sort of things. What’s a toy doing on a mantle first of all? This would be even more significant if the homeowner didn’t have kids. Also, the color red is always going to grab attention because colors have psychological meanings, too. Whether the feelings it evokes are threatening or nostalgic depends a lot on further context, but it’s unusual enough to create a little ping that tells the readers to pay attention.
But a writer who just throws in that detail for some color is asking for problems because they just made an unintentional promise.
Let’s try this example:
“Lord Pemberly led Allison to a bedroom on the the third floor. It was a simple space with a twin bed and a single window overlooking the back lawn. But as she turned around to thank him for his help, she spotted the vase of pristine white roses. They sat on the bedside table in a simple silver bowl.”
A less-mindful writer might have put this detail in to create some interest to the decor. But a smart writer would place them there because we later learn that those white roses remind Lord Pemberly of his first wife, who he buried in the rose garden. That writer won’t have to remind the reader of those white roses by her bed because simply calling attention to them in the description of the room created a promise that they’d show up later in some significant way.
Every detail must have purpose. If you give something significance early in the story, follow through on it.
Foreshadowing
A technique of indicating or hinting at what will come later in the story by mentioning upcoming events or plans, placing subtle clues in opening pages of story or chapters, showing character’s reactions to objects that will become important later, or mentioning changes in weather or mood that hint at good or bad fortune to follow.
Let’s go back to Allison’s white roses. Perhaps we know from earlier in the story that her abusive father always bought her mother white roses after he beat her. And now Lord Pemberly has left white roses by her bed. If this isn’t a red flag for Allison to get the hell out, it should be. It definitely will be a warning to our dear readers, who will be squirming.
Warning: Foreshadowing is easy to overdo with cliches. The crack of lightning in the distance, the rumble of thunder after a character says they’ll be home soon, etc. Use with caution.
Rule of Three
Whenever you repeat information or details three times you create a pattern for the reader and this implies importance. Mention anything three times—even if it’s across multiple chapters—and it’s a pattern that will stick in the reader’s mind as something to watch.
Example of how this is used incorrectly: I read a draft of a scene for a colleague in which she kept mentioning a bag of pecans from which the heroine was snacking. By the third time, I’m thinking these pecans have to be poisoned or someone’s going to have a major nut allergy and die from these things. Truth is, the writer simply was throwing in details for “color” and ended up making an unintentional promise. This is why you must be intentional with the details and descriptions you use.
Now, think of a similar scene in the movie Indiana Jones. Indie’s in a tent with Sallah and the monkey. They’re discussing their plans and what the Germans know. Indie’s pacing around the tent tossing a date up and down methodically as he talks and thinks through the strategy. The camera cuts a few times to the monkey who is nibbling on dates while they talk, and we’re thinking, “aw, monkey!”
Then Indie and Sallah figure out a major piece of the puzzle. To celebrate, Indie tosses a date up extra far, prepared to reward himself for his cunning with a sweet, sweet treat. BUT Sallah catches the date before Indie can catch it. Confused, Indie looks at his friend, who squeezes the date between his fist and motions to the now dead monkey. “Bad dates,” he says. But good writing. RIP sweet monkey.
Spoiler alert: Don’t feel too bad for our date-loving friend. The monkey was actually a spy for the bad guys, thus the poisoned dates were a bit of poetic justice since it was his own master who planted them thus making Indiana Jones a tragedy when considered from the monkey’s point of view. Now I’m sad again.
Anyway.
Looking back at the scene, we can see that the monkey’s death was foreshadowed by the multiple focuses on it eating those dates. This is clever, clever writing. It’s also a brilliant example of Blake Snyder’s “Pope in the Pool” technique. This isn’t a Rule of Three thing but it’s a pretty cool technique you should add to your toolbox.
POPE IN THE POOL, THE
A distracting way to bury exposition, so called for a scene in a script where the pope swims in the Vatican pool while boring plot details are told to us. So if you have a lot of backstory to tell, try to divert the audience’s attention while doing so.Source: Savethecat.com
Power Words
These are thematic words that you layer into scenes to give subtle psychological resonance. You can come up with lists of words for specific characters, themes, settings, etc to create subconscious expectations.
Check out this opening of Gillian Flynn’s Dark Places. Note: Italics were added to emphasize power words.
“I have a meanness inside me, real as an organ. Slit me at my belly and it might slide out, meaty and dark, drop on the floor so you could stomp on it. It’s the Day blood. Something’s wrong with it. I was never a good little girl, and I got worse after the murders. ...
I was not a lovable child, and I’d grown into a deeply unlovable adult. Draw a picture of my soul, and it’d be a scribble with fangs.”
Is this a romantic comedy?
Of course not.
Are there some intriguing promises here? Definitely.
Flynn is a smart writer. She chooses her words carefully so that they do a lot of heavy lifting. In these two short paragraphs, we get a cornucopia of promises—tone, genre, character, plot, world, etc.
Sit down and write a list of words that you associate with the characters and world of your story. How does this place feel? What are the major symbols or characteristics of the story? Write them down. Then use them in your sentences to add layers and emphasize tone.
Genre-Specific Cues
Depending on your genre there may be conventions that make promises. These can also be common tropes, if you plan on using them in conventional ways and not subverting them (although this can be effective if done well).
The best example of this is the “red herring” in mystery. This is when authors use false clues to mislead the reader about the identity of the murderer or other details pertaining to the case. Here the false promise is expected by the reader.
As you can see, there are lots of ways we promise things to our readers. Understanding these techniques and using them intentionally can take your writing from good to outstanding.
Can you think of other promise-making techniques we use? Let’s chat about them in comments.
Next time, in part 3, we’ll discuss the ways we break promises to our readers.